Chrone Osphere: The Exodus, part 1

The Exodus

The Isrealis' Exodus from Egypt was a pivotal moment in history- or so many little Jewish boys and girls have been told to think.
The truth is that the tale has been twisted throughout the millenia and two bibles to serve the purposes of modern man.
It was really the story of a volcano and the people who capitalized on its eruption.
To be honest, the exodus was really more ambitious a story than I'd like to do this early, but, with my recent failures, I felt a need to redeem myself.
Anyway, something so important should have been easy to find in the timeline, right?
Wrong.
With no accurate date, I had to look for it manually.
Do you have any idea how boring it is to watch ancient history on rewind and fast-forward?
What actually caught my attention was the explosive eruption of Mt. Santorini in the Mediterranean Sea.
It was huge!
The eruption had an impact for hundreds of kilometers in every direction, particularly for the Egyptians and some of their immigrant worker population.
Incidentally, the whole episode went down in the 1472 B.C., centuries off conventional archeologists’ approximation of the exodus.
Arrogant dicks.

Part 1: The Set-up

The Egyptians and Israelites had long been at each other’s throats when Mt. Santorini blew.
If you’ll recall from bible study, the Israelites conquered Canaan, modern-day Israel, by slaughtering the indigenous people. (that may have been sugar-coated in bible study)
Then a famine caused the Israelites to flee to Egypt, where they stayed for nearly two centuries.
At first they were welcomed and considered a valuable asset as an additional warrior class- kind of like the national guard.
By the time Pharaoh Ahmose came into power, though, the Israelis had overstayed their welcome and been demoted to second-class citizens.
In one of the earliest African aparthieds, the Jews had to take all of the jobs that Egyptians didn’t want to do.
While I wouldn’t have wanted to work in an Egyptian mine, either, it wasn’t exactly slavery.
Think Latino immigrants in modern America or blacks in Jim Crow America, as opposed to plantation slaves.
Besides, when Santorini blew as part of the African tectonic plate shifting, Ahmose was expelling the Israelis- not selling them.
There was a great showdown in Avaris between Moses and Pharaoh Ahmose.
It was the first time I used the universal translator for something other than watching French movies. (I HATE subtitles)
Sufficed to say, Moses wanted a better severance package than the pharaoh was willing to offer.
Moses wanted gold and livestock.
The pharaoh offered raping their women and murdering their children.
Now, they had all heard Santorini erupt, but only Moses claimed it was a sign from God. (You’ve got to understand, though- from what I saw, Moses thought everything was a sign from God: a sneeze, fart, mosquito bite- you name it.)
He told Pharaoh Ahmose that God would punish the Egyptians if they didn’t give him what he wanted. next

Part 2 3




	The Exodus The Isrealis' Exodus from Egypt was a pivotal moment in history- or so many little Jewish boys and girls have been told to think. The truth is that the tale has been twisted throughout the millenia and two bibles to serve the purposes of modern man. It was really the story of a volcano and the people who capitalized on its eruption. To be honest, the exodus was really more ambitious a story than I'd like to do this early, but, with my recent failures, I felt a need to redeem myself. Anyway, something so important should have been easy to find in the timeline, right? Wrong. With no accurate date, I had to look for it manually. Do you have any idea how boring it is to watch ancient history on rewind and fast-forward? What actually caught my attention was the explosive eruption of Mt. Santorini in the Mediterranean Sea. It was huge! The eruption had an impact for hundreds of kilometers in every direction, particularly for the Egyptians and some of their immigrant worker population. Incidentally, the whole episode went down in the 1472 B.C., centuries off conventional archeologists’ approximation of the exodus. Arrogant dicks. Part 1: The Set-up The Egyptians and Israelites had long been at each other’s throats when Mt. Santorini blew. If you’ll recall from bible study, the Israelites conquered Canaan, modern-day Israel, by slaughtering the indigenous people. (that may have been sugar-coated in bible study) Then a famine caused the Israelites to flee to Egypt, where they stayed for nearly two centuries. At first they were welcomed and considered a valuable asset as an additional warrior class- kind of like the national guard. By the time Pharaoh Ahmose came into power, though, the Israelis had overstayed their welcome and been demoted to second-class citizens. In one of the earliest African aparthieds, the Jews had to take all of the jobs that Egyptians didn’t want to do. While I wouldn’t have wanted to work in an Egyptian mine, either, it wasn’t exactly slavery. Think Latino immigrants in modern America or blacks in Jim Crow America, as opposed to plantation slaves. Besides, when Santorini blew as part of the African tectonic plate shifting, Ahmose was expelling the Israelis- not selling them. There was a great showdown in Avaris between Moses and Pharaoh Ahmose. It was the first time I used the universal translator for something other than watching French movies. (I HATE subtitles) Sufficed to say, Moses wanted a better severance package than the pharaoh was willing to offer. Moses wanted gold and livestock. The pharaoh offered raping their women and murdering their children. Now, they had all heard Santorini erupt, but only Moses claimed it was a sign from God. (You’ve got to understand, though- from what I saw, Moses thought everything was a sign from God: a sneeze, fart, mosquito bite- you name it.) He told Pharaoh Ahmose that God would punish the Egyptians if they didn’t give him what he wanted. next Part 2 3					Exodus Chapter 6 6:1 God said to Moses, 'Now you will begin to see what I will do to Pharaoh. He will be forced to let them go. [Not only that, but] he will be forced to drive them out of his land.' 6:2 God spoke to Moses and said to him, 'I am YHVH. 6:3 I revealed Myself to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob as God Almighty (El Shaddai), and did not allow them to know Me by My name YHVH. 6:4 I also made My covenant with them, [promising] to give them the land of Canaan, the land of their pilgrimage, where they lived as foreigners. 6:5 I have also heard the groaning of the Israelites, whom the Egyptians are holding as slaves, and I have remembered My covenant. 6:6 'Therefore say to the Israelites [in My name], 'I am God. I will take you away from your forced labor in Egypt and free you from their slavery. I will liberate you with a demonstration of My power, and with great acts of judgment. 6:7 I will take you to Myself as a nation, and I will be to you as a God. You will know that I am God your Lord, the One who is bringing you out from under the Egyptian subjugation. 6:8 I will bring you to the land regarding which I raised My hand, [swearing] that I would give it to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I will give it to you as an inheritance. I am God.' ' 6:9 Moses related this to the Israelites, but because of their disappointment and hard work, they would no longer listen to him. 6:10 God spoke to Moses, saying, 6:11 'Go, speak to Pharaoh, king of Egypt, and he will let the Israelites leave his land.' 6:12 Moses spoke, interrupting the revelation. 'Even the Israelites will not listen to me,' he said. 'How can I expect Pharaoh to listen to me? I have no self-confidence when I speak.'